Of Personal Revelation and Intimacy

Dear Non-Existent Reader,

As I have stated repeatedly: the purpose of  this blog is not to make me look good, in fact, I suspect it does quite the opposite. Instead it is to record an honest exploration of my thoughts, feelings and situations for later evaluation. As such, many of my so-called revelations will seem blindingly obvious in retrospect and some will seem very “What the heck was I thinking back then?” This one could wind up in either camp, but it does seem to explain much of what has been going on in my head.

I continue to explore my interactions: with the model personality formerly known as Princess, I have to wonder why I did the things I did and how they worked out in the end or up to each point really. I expect that the only person who might even be remotely interested in any of this other than myself, might be my progeny and the real-life individual who is the target of the personality known presently as “Future Wife.” I probably should give her a name, something meaningful enough to develop around and yet flexible enough to fit whomever the model becomes built upon. We shall simply have to see.

On a side side note: I went to Grace’s church today and I have to say it was not what I would have expected of Grace, but then my expectations have been way off the mark of late, likely given to the fact that I spend too little time with other people and too much time talking to you. This will be developed into its own post and this portion eventually removed, but I add it here now so that I do not forget to work it out.

So everyone, meaning in general, not the actual set ‘Everyone’, has some need for intimacy. We experience intimacy via our relations and frequently in some combination of emotional, intellectual, sexual and spiritual with each relation we have. Let’s establish a scale before continuing: how about an 11 point scale. 0-10. This way when I say 0 I can really mean none, and when I say 10 I can really mean complete. Allow me to further complicate things and define 5 as the mid-point of the line, and say this scale is not linear. What the actual scale works out to will be determined at a later time.

Some issues to consider: two people need to have a common experience, a common degree of experience, or a set of common experiences of sufficient magnitude for my ideas to work, I think anyways. i do not expect I will develop a formal testable hypothesis as to this, but who knows. Why do I phrase it like I did, because I already see the exceptions to any dogmatic assertions or the complaints otherwise if I do not. The obvious example being sexual intimacy. Lets suggest for a moment that there are two individuals who experience a degree of sexual intimacy. I do not want one partner to ever be able to find this site and try and use it to justify gaining sexual experience with a third party because the other partner has more experience. Similarly, I do not want the second partner to assume that they cannot achieve intimacy because they have already experienced some orders of magnitude more experience than the first. Additionally, I do not want one or both of the partners to be able to justify activity based on a need to equalize anything. Actions have consequences reader, but that does not mean that the intimacy cannot be redeemed, it does likely make it more difficult to achieve. The obvious socially and theologically conservative christian response then it to guard your eyes, thoughts and quite frankly keep your pants on and untouched by the other partner until such actions are not only warranted and justified, but beneficial to both parties. This is not may way of saying, oh he only said pants on, so everything else is fair game, by no means, instead I am invoking a colloquialism to say, keep your actions appropriate. That man or woman that is your present partner, is likely to be someone’s future spouse, treat him or her like you would like to have them treat yours. Further, I can guarantee you that they are someone’s son or daughter, treat them how you would want your son or daughter treated.

732 words in, and I have not yet begun my actual entry. Maybe I will eventually work out an appendix and edit this stuff down, until then, well bear with me.

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