Meet the host:

Sup?

Oh, you wanted to know something about me?

Hmm,

That puts me in a difficult situation. You see, if you are looking to find out something about me, that implies you do not know me.

Which leads to the question:

Who are you again and why are you here?

You asked first?

There are 3 people who know this place exists, there are only 3 that it matters to, and 2 of the 2nd are not part of the 1st.